In an admirable display of familiarity with the Hindi slang, Ms. Christine Fair (an American political scientist) had called Donald Trump a chootiya (a moron) whilst being interviewed by Dr. Moeed Pirzada (a Pakistani TV anchor) early last year. Her exact words were “this is just six months and you have four years of this chootiya”. No credit to her for soothsaying and presenting the horror-scope of a world which this apology-of-a-president of the United States is a part of. But, I concede, a non-Indian couldn’t have used the term more aptly. I too decided to use the term extensively in this blog but only after ensuring that there is nothing that unequivocally prohibits its use. I have aging and decaying nuts and Trump, it is rumored, had placed a large order of nutcrackers on Amazon at the inauguration of his second term. My first port of call was a compilation by Lok Sabha Secretariat of Unparliamentary Expressions (July-2022 edition). I didn’t find any mention of the term there. A Wikipedia search too didn’t show any results. After surfing the net, I could find only bits and pieces on the term but nothing substantial. One site refers to Hindi Shabd Sagar of Banaras and comforts that the term chootiya is not a gaali (an abuse).
There are three types of chootiyas characterized by varying degrees of chootiyapa (moron-ness) they indulge in. The hierarchy, in the ascending order, is dar-chootiya, param-chootiya and chaman-chootiya. As my opinion of Trump is several degrees above that of Ms. Fair in chootiyapa quotient, I choose chaman-chootiya for Donald Trump. It sounds more appropriate. Ergo, the title of this blog. I have written three blogs on Trump and his ways. After each blog, I have wondered if I would have anything more to write about. Looks like I am full of surprises. This blog takes a quick stock of Trump’s acts of omissions & commissions that have earned him the distinction of being a chaman-chootiya.
First things first. America, with all its contradictions and reputation carrying many shades of grey, has always attracted talent from across the world. Students, academicians, littérateurs, scientists, doctors, researchers, techies, businesspersons, sportspersons etc. Quite a few of them have achieved big success in the country. Given the background, what is Trump doing there. Have the electoral standards of America gone so southwards and its citizens become so gullible as to elect an embarrassment called Trump to helm the country’s affairs and represent them globally. India too has many uncivilized, uneducated, rent-seeking and values-less politicians at all levels. Trust me, I have started loving the crassest of Indian politicians after knowing Trump. One wonders as to how long a rope will Americans allow this man. And for how long.
One always believed that diplomacy is an art which brings everything into the realm of possibility. Almost everything. That’s why it is conducted quietly without rabble rousing. That’s why it requires not to slam the proverbial door on any possibility but to keep it ajar. But this American version of a Peaky Blinder appears proud to follow the ways of the uncouth. Taking diplomacy to a farcical level, he gases through either X (Twitter) or a particular aperture in his anatomy which the sane wouldn’t want pass anything through publicly. He talks about the French President recovering from a beating by his wife. He declares that Canada lives because of America. Calling them terrible, he wants nothing to do with Spain. He sulks against the UK stating that he doesn’t need them. He openly rues that Italian Prime Minister is not the same (sic) person and kind-of-threatens that Italy would not be the same country. Embarrassing her no end, he complains to the Japanese Prime Minister about Japan not alerting America about the Pearl Harbour attack. He insults NATO by suggesting that it survives on American money. He gleefully announces, after imposition of tariffs on imports, that twenty-one countries are coming to lick his ass. All this, publicly. Diplomacy, for Trump, is a theatre of the absurd. Howsoever strong America maybe it shall need friendly nations after Trump. It’s about time Americans acted to prevent hatred for Trump converting into hatred for America.
Always meddlesome, America was known for poking its nose into others’ affairs even before Trump. IBON Foundation says that America’s acts of aggression have resulted in some 13-23 million deaths in 28 countries after the World War II. Some due to direct military actions and others due to armed conflicts supported / instigated by it. But this God’s-gift-to-the-mankind goes a step ahead. He wants to make Canada the 51st state of America. “Poorly run piece of ice” that’s how he describes Greenland which he wants to invade and take over. Let alone foreign countries, the Fanta-Orange invaded seven of America’s own cities in June-2025 making a mockery of federalism. Though shitting bricks in Iran, he has plans to invade Cuba, Colombia and Mexico next.
Remember how Trump obscenely shook his equally obscene full-of-cellulites-posterior to the famous YMCA number at his inaugural ball. He did a similar one the day he imposed tariffs on imports from various countries. The glee with which he displayed to the media an oversized menu of the tariffs was hilarious. The scene reminded me of a similar one where a huge placard mounted on an ikka (a one-horse cart) traversed the streets of Malesamau (a locality in Lucknow I currently live in), announcing the timetable of Rasili-bai’s mujra (a refined dance form which later decayed into an act of shaking everything shakable, a la Trump). Even a freshman knows that the tariffs are to be borne by American importers / consumers. The worst that the tariffs could do to an exporting country is to price its exports out of the American markets. In such a scenario, America too would need to look inwards and be sure if it could manage without these imports. Could one have expected Trump to understand the basics of international commerce that trade-gaps that have a history of decades cannot be bridged overnight. A dimwit, he thought tariffs were the panacea to all of America’s problems.
America always takes a moral high ground as regards terrorism and oppressive regimes (a euphemism for the regimes inimical to America’s interests). His German ancestry notwithstanding, Trump too is an American and has continued with the façade. Let’s rain on his parade. He abducted the President Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela after killing 83 people. Amnesic about the 9/11 attack in America which led to killing of over 2,900 innocent persons, he invited to dinner the Army Chief of a terrorist country, Pakistan, which hosted the mastermind of 9/11 (Osama bin Laden). Encouraged by Trump, the Army Chief threatened the world with a nuclear war immediately after licking the last bit of the cream-dessert. Ahmed al-Sharaa was an operative of Al-Qaeda who was captured and imprisoned by America for five years and later carried a bounty of USD 10 million. The bounty was rescinded and the same operative of Al-Qaeda was installed as President of Syria by Trump. Qatar has been repeatedly accused by America of hosting organizations which fund Hamas, Taliban and Al-Qaeda. Lo & behold ! The President of the same America shamelessly accepted a plane worth USD 400 million as a gift from the same Qatar. Trump has made no bones of the fact that he wants to meet the leader of North Korea, a country which America designated as a sponsor of terrorism in 2017. Scratch the surface and you will find out that the contradictions he personifies have roots in either the business interests of his family or his idiosyncrasies seeking to dominate the world like the marauder called Genghis Khan.
Recollect his farcical chase for the Nobel prize which failed. There was this joke / rumor floating around that he had threatened, around the nomination time, the Norwegian Finance Minister of heavy tariffs if he didn’t get the prize. One could trust Trump-the-Dealer doing that. He had been tom-toming about 6-7 wars he claimed to have stopped. Everyone knows the fragility of his so-called peace deals involving Cambodia-Thailand, Armenia-Azerbaijan and Rwanda-Congo. What happened to Russia-Ukraine conflict which he quixotically promised to put an end to in one day. Remember the old expression lying-through-one’s -teeth. It’s a passe’ for him. That Trump can lie through all apertures in his anatomy was clear when he claimed, a thousand times, the credit for cessation of India’s Operation Sindoor (an offensive against the terrorist infrastructure in Pakistan) despite denial by India at all forums. Thankfully, his nomination wasn’t taken seriously. Otherwise, the joke would have been on the world. A dark one at that.
I have no love lost for Iran. The country doesn’t have much of modern history with India to write home about. But it’s a fact that Iran brought Trump to his knees. He thought the situation in Iran was similar to the times of Nicholas Romanov (the last Tsar of Russia). Just build on the public sentiment and overthrow the Islamist regime. He could have if he hadn’t opened his mouth. Consider the outbursts of an unhinged man. “We are blowing up the whole country if Iran doesn’t make the deal”. “The whole civilization will die tonight.” “If Iran doesn’t take deal, U.S. will knock out every single power plant and bridge.” “Open the F***ing Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell—just watch.” “Time is running out -48 hours before all Hell will reign (sic) down on them.” And then there was the killing of 173 innocent primary-school girls. The tragedy was brushed aside callously by America as a collateral damage. This shocked no end even the hardcore opponents of the regime. They hadn’t factored in this kind of brutality in the outcomes sought by them through involvement of America. The delusional statements by Trump and the underlying message that he gives a shit to Iranians’ sensitivities put paid to Iranians’ hope of America helping rebuild the country, post the regime change. Diluting their anger against the regime, Iranians realized that America is fighting this war for oil and not for their future. Trump’s actions and words have unwittingly brought the Iranians together to pursue a singular agenda now i.e., to protect its national pride. It’s for all to see that a war that was to end in four days is still continuing after fifty-four days.